Are you arguing with your spouse over and over again? Do you not feel heard no matter how you express yourself?
Everyone communicates differently, we all have different experiences, from how how we observed our parents communicate about problems (or not) to the hurt, or embarrassment we experienced when we attempted to express vulnerable feelings in high school. Bottom line is we all communicate differently based on our experiences, and since we do not get an owners manual with our partner, we are bound to have some difficulties at some point.
When I counsel a couple experiencing distance, or argument because of a communication break down, I help them first to hear the other’s message, the real message, not to get lost in the method they are using. But more importantly I aid couples in learning the unique way they must communicate in this relationship. We all make several mistakes when communicating, often resulting in negative outcomes; within the first few minutes of talking we spiral down that rabbit hole of frustration, and emotional reactivity, never really knowing truly what the fight is about. The truth is the majority of our fights and arguments are due to misunderstanding. Isn’t it worth knowing what you are fighting about, vs what you THINK you are fighting about?
If you are serious about improving your relationship you must improve the way that you grow, adapt, and resolve differences, with you partner. We do that through communicating. Give me a call 253-304-4522, I am ready to help you on this journey.
